Elijah Dukes Is a Jackass!

Elijah Duke's is 22 years old and he's a Major Leaguer. Not a bad
life right? Eh, maybe it's not so great. Dukes has already had
several run ins with law officials, team officials, teammates,
women, and probably animals and plants as well. He's been
known as a bad seed for a while and he's from "the other side of
the tracks" and carries that mentality on his shoulders. Well, if
he doesn't straighten up soon, he'll really be in trouble. It's
already starting to look like Mr. Dukes won't be able to make
enough money, even at a MLB salary, to pay for his family. Why
do I say that? Well, because at the age of 22 years old Dukes
already has 5 kids from 4 women! The big news from last week,
Dukes has a 6th on the way from a 5th woman who is under the
age of 18! To make matters worse, when the woman let Dukes
know that she was pregnant with his child, his anger boiled
over once again as he "got mad and threw a gatorade at me".
Thats according to his new baby's mama! Classy, Dukes. Pretty
soon, you'll have enough kids to field an entire team. You
already have enough for a starting lineup in basketball PLUS a
guy for the bench! Either snip it or wrap it up, but you better do
something buddy because you carry a potent seed and you are
someone who shouldn't be breeding. Your troubled past has
already landed you in hot water with your current organization,
they are trying to trade you, and I'm sure the sooner the better
in their eyes. Whenever Dukes gets moved to another city,
Fathers hide your daughters because you may be called
grandpa sooner than you want to if you don't. For his inability to
control his anger or his urges, 22 year old Elijah Dukes has
earned the BSN JACKASS OF THE WEEK!